AI told me: telling people about your big ideas kills motivation and leads to addictive behavior.
WELCOME to my new “I asked AI” blog series.
A series of blogs I write where in my free time I ask AI my deepest, darkest questions, and it tells me way too much accurate information about myself and the world, leading to either a huge epiphany or an existential crisis, and then I share those answers with you incase it’s helpful!
The first topic in this series focuses on sharing ideas with others. Something I do often, something people often do with me, and what we all see a lot of on social media. This entry is actually quite interesting, as it applies to everyone and the way our brains work.
Ok, have you done this? I 100% know I have been victim of this before-
Having an exciting idea that’s been secretly brewing in my mind for awhile, and against my better judgement, in the moment, I blurt out to someone during great conversation some big dream I have, then go home to find it’s less exciting because, well, the secrets out. I don’t follow through because oddly enough, talking about it, envisioning it, celebrating the idea with someone- that was good enough for me.
So, why does that happen?
I asked AI:
Why is telling others about a project before doing it a bad idea because of the dopamine release.
( I specially asked about the dopamine because I had heard this concept before.)
Here’s what it told me:
“Telling others about a project before you start it can be counterproductive because of the way our brains release dopamine in response to social acknowledgment and positive feedback. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that’s often associated with feelings of pleasure, motivation, and reward. When you talk about your exciting new project and receive positive reactions from others—such as praise, excitement, or interest—your brain gets a “dopamine hit.”
While this may feel rewarding in the moment, the problem is that this dopamine release can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already made progress on the project. You start to feel a sense of satisfaction from just discussing the idea, which can reduce your motivation to actually do the work. It’s as if you’ve already received some of the reward without putting in the effort. This is sometimes referred to as “premature celebration.”
Psychologically, the brain doesn’t distinguish between real achievements and anticipatory rewards from social approval. As a result, telling others about your plans too early can decrease the drive and energy you would otherwise have put into executing the project. Essentially, it creates a false sense of accomplishment, leaving you with less energy or motivation to follow through.
In addition, external validation—like praise or interest from others—can sometimes shift your focus toward managing perceptions rather than focusing on the task itself, making the creative or productive process feel more like a performance. This can create pressure and undermine your intrinsic motivation.”
So if you’re like how I was for what seemed like years and find yourself in a cycle of sharing ideas you never do, and you keep doing this whole “wanna hear about a secret project I’m working on” thinking it’s going to give you the extra push to do it, because it’s out there now, now you know it’s not just a bad idea, it’s horrible!
What’s extra sad is you don’t just keep looking silly, and unreliable, and just all talk and no walk (I say all of this because I have felt all of this shame after repeatedly spouting off things I was going to do and then losing interest) now that grand idea will never actually exist! It will never be real. It will just die, floating off in the ether as a concept shared.
Not only is it a waste of a GREAT idea that could have been ground breaking if actually executed but now our brains have this FALSE senes of satisfaction that it’s working off of which is technically pretty detrimental to the way we will continue to dream up, plan, and execute dreams in the future. If we share and get rewarded, just like a rat in a cage who hits a bell and gets food, why wouldn’t we keep doing that!? It’s exciting to share cool ideas and it feels good to get praised for them.
That cycle HAS to be broken!
What to do instead?
Keep your project under wraps until you’ve made significant progress or completed it. That way, you avoid premature dopamine releases and maintain the motivation needed to see the project through to completion.
I have been practicing this for over a year and I can not explain to you the difference it has made! If I decide I can’t tell anyone about my idea, the only way for it to ever have ANY life at all and be released from is to DO it. Since I can’t “experience” the thrill of the idea by sharing it verbally I know that every time I think about it and every time I schedule time to go back to work on it, I MUST push on if I EVER want anyone to know about this cool thing in my head! Keeping the secret burns a whole inside of me and the only way for that burning to stop if I’m not allowed to share it is to DO the damn thing.
Case in point! ^ The Lunar Guide to Self Discovery and Goal Setting by ME! AH!
Last year I started writing and designing a Guided Journal, and only vaguely made slight mention of it perhaps 5 times on social media. I showed my husband who helped me edit it, and who provided the very tough love I needed to stay on track (and it was still hard.) I told my 3 closest friends to ask for advice on the title. And then I worked on it, a lot, in total silence, with no one cheering me on except myself. Last week I ordered my very first physical hard cover proof copy!!!! This is the first time I am releasing ANY specific details, and that’s bc it’s DONE. It’s not for sale yet, as I am still working out the exact publishing details, but… it’s real! And I’ll be dropping more information on this as I get closer to launching! But staying silent allowed me to finish it and you have NO IDEA how amazing it feels to say - “I DID THAT!” Instead of what I have been saying for years “I’m going to do that” and not doing a damn thing…
Also, as a creative, as many of you can probably relate, I’m sure, we just have these things we need to GET OUT of us. A feeling, a story, a vision… You know what I’m talking about. These things that live inside of us, rent free, and we won’t be happy until we can see them in real life looking back at us. Allow this secret, self imposed gatekeeping to be your motivation to finally free yourself of those things. I am using this tactic again as I take on 2 very big projects that will take up most of this year, if not more. But I desperately want them to exist in the REAL world so both you and I can hold them and experience them together.
The silence is no longer a form of restriction but pure motivation.
On the other hand, some people NEED accountability. They simply will not do things if it's all left up to them. This is where telling someone could benefit you but, proceed with caution.
If you feel like you NEED to tell SOMEONE, tell someone that will encourage you but also hold you accountable, not someone who will simply applaud you for the idea alone. If we were talking about drugs you would call that person an enabler. They are NOT helping you reach your fullest potential. They’re giving in to what you want now- and that’s just a positive response. Ask someone to check in on you. Ask them to give you tough love, and when you don’t do something have them ask you why, and be ready for them to not accept excuses.
This thought of enabling with drugs lead me to ask AI another question…
Can you get addicted to dopamine release?
And the answer is kinda scary.
“Yes, it’s possible to become addicted to dopamine release, although it’s more accurate to say that people can become addicted to the behaviors or experiences that trigger dopamine. Dopamine itself isn’t inherently “addictive”—it’s a natural and essential neurotransmitter involved in reward, motivation, and pleasure—but the way our brains react to repetitive dopamine-inducing behaviors can create patterns that resemble addiction.”
So as you take on the New Year with your resolutions, goals, and new ideas- be careful when you release your ideas, be intentional with who you tell, make SURE you are following the talk up with action, and grant yourself the gift of LIVING your dreams, not just daydreaming about them!
Just incase you didn’t know, I offer Photography Classes and Business Coaching. If part of living your dreams involves getting education from a professional, strategic moves for your business, or simply positive yet motivational accountability feel free to check out the Services below!